“Daddy Has A Peanut”

True story. It was at a trendy Italian restaurant on New York’s “Upper East Side.” A hot night it was, so rather than cooking, I was taking the family...

True story.

It was at a trendy Italian restaurant on New York’s “Upper East Side.” A hot night it was, so rather than cooking, I was taking the family out to dinner instead.

Although I don’t recall exactly what we ate, I do remember that our waitress was attractive. But what remains most indelible in my mind is that moment when my then 2-year old daughter announced to the pretty lady, for no apparent reason: “My mommy has a bagina. My daddy has a peanut.”

Had I actually possessed any nuts whatsoever – not unreasonable in this setting, as they’re often available at the bar – this incident would be unremarkable. But I did not. What she was clearly attempting to articulate in her excitement upon first learning about sex organs was, “my daddy has a penis.”

Fortunately, she was correct; I do, indeed, own one. But let’s face it – of the thousands of words that have been and can be used to describe that key part of the male anatomy, “peanut” is truly one of the most unpleasant and hurtful.

And untrue.

{I’ve written this post as part of the Outback Steakhouse Dinner With Dad Experience. And Outback is providing some freebies for me in exchange. Fine. GOOD NEWS: YOU TOO ARE ELIGIBLE TO WIN A $45 GIFT CERTIFICATE to Outback Steakhouse. (Does not include Alcohol, tax and gratuity.) HOW?

Just leave a reply below, sharing YOUR funniest “Dinner With Dad” moment}

Here are links to Outback’s Facebook and Twitter

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Food for ThoughtKids Corner
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About Rob

Award-winning international ad exec, stand-up comedian and professionally trained chef who Ad Age calls, "undoubtedly one of the industry's most colorful characters". Hosts TV and radio, writes in Huffington Post and serves as personal chef to his wife and daughters.

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